NOTE: This story was deleted from Trollpasta for violation of the ToS. Please don't tell anyone :).
It was exactly 31.1458916664 femtoseconds after the events of Xanthia.lua Book Three - 6 Crazy Nights At Freedy's That's Really Just Basically Filler, and we were walking hominim(LOL GEDDIT?) with out hands full of dosh while that one Harry Enfield song played faintly in the background. This also means that the only thing that legit happened in the ending post-script of the previous story was Alphatom493 | Promethium45's victory at the Open Hexagon unreal tournament.
"So, what are you doing to do with the money, Yandere?" Xanthia asked sexil with her selfillum 1 green eiez glowin' n' shiznit.
"I'm probably going to hire a hitman so senpai will only be mine." Yandere-Chan said nonchalantly.
"I'm going to hire a lawyer to finally prove that Alphatom493 | Promethium45 doesn't do stuff legit!" Boshy yelled salty as a brick came from nowhere and hit him in the face, causing him to drop his money. Then, a figure came running by and
That bitch looked like this
stole all Boshy's dosh in 3.14159265 femtoseconds. Since humans have perfect memories that can be rewound and played back, frame-by-frame like a movie, I stole a joke from ShowWithNoName as I remembered who it was that took Boshy's dosh. It looked like a female Jeff The Killer rip-off with one green eye and a clock that was shoved into the other socket for the purpose of a motif. She had a light blue hoodie with black jeans and some thin, 'fashionable' boots. I didn't know who it was, I knew who she was., but since it was Boshy whos stolen from, none of us cared and walked back home.
When we went home, the first thing I did was go onto Xbax Liv and talk with my friends, Rome, Staney, and Durk. We were supposed to have a tactical discussion on how to get away with the murder of Owner Guy (ORIJUNIL CAHRUYCTR IF UR JELLY DOUGHNUT STEEL!!111!11!) but we decided to just play Battlefield instead. After 3.14 hours of being turned evil by USASs loaded with incendiary ammunition, I decided to do some research into that figure that stole Boshy's dosh, even though nobody cared. I found nothing on Google, just some crap about "Mr.Gay" or something. So I went on the in Gizoogle. Now mah ass didn't big up dis gizoogle shiznit befo', y'all KNOW dat shit, but mah ass be pimpin' 'nuff ta' ride tha fuck 'round da web on dis shit. I than strutted tha fuck ta some shit 'bout some "Mista-Muthafuckin'-Gay" or some shit.
"Fuck dat shiznit!" Mah ass exclamizzled.
"Yo, da fuck yo' ass be changin' tha rappin' steez fo', biatch?" Xanthizzia holla'd, ain't talkin' bout no chicken n' gravy biatch.
"Because fuck dat shit, nigga! Word on da fuckin' strizzle be dat dis be da dopest rappin' steez up in da biatch our asses straight up call 'tha intawizzle'!" I holla'd back, not talkin' bout no Jack Daniels either.
"Yo, nigga, can our asses stop all da fuckin' holla-in' n' shiznit? Da shiznit's gettin' tha fuck on mah fuckin' nerves!" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 straight up holla'd, right back up in yo' muthafuckin' ass.
So afta all dem fuckin' seconds afta mah big-ass booty hit up dat shiznit, I then peep dat "Mista-Muthafuckin'-Gay" be da bootycall-name of da biatch wit da clock eye or some shit. All of a suddenly, my muthafuckin' ears n' shit heard some wack-ass tickin' and mah-ass peeped up a bangin'-ass chronic flash of light. I then heard some dunkadelic hoe rap ta mah ass:
"YO FUNKY-ASS TIZZLE BE UP BIATCH!" Da fuckin' biatch rapped, but y'all knew dat shit muthafucka. Now befo' dat biatch could do some gang-bangin', finger-lickin', wack-ass, fucked up shiznit, Alphatom493 | Promethium45 threw some fuckin' Femtogons or some shiznit, which done rekt da biatch known as Clockwork n' shit. Right back up in yo' muthafuckin' ass.
Then, Clockwork slit Boshy's throat, you could hear him trying to screa
m "THAT SCORE WASN'T LEGIT!!" but couldn't because his throat was cut open you idiot as his wound spurted hyper-realistic evidence and photo-cartoon blood, but it looked like semen. It was then, I had an irrational though. "DID ALPHATOM493 | PROMETHIUM45 A HAXXOR?" and them I beat Boshy to death with a brick since he was stupid. He died, which was convieniant. Then, the next door neighbors called the police since they were omnipotent. We had 3.14159265 minutes to hide the bodies and plant all the evidence that Clockwork was the murderer since the police were currently busy chasing down a black man.
"should I hide??" Alphatom493 | Promethium asked.
"Nah" I said.
"should I panic??" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 asked.
"Probably not" I said.
"should I do something/nothing?" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 asked.
"idk" I said.
"k... e... f... ef... swa... ef... nah" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
Then Clockwork took a break from her game of Cards Against Humanity she was playing with Xanthia and Yandere-Chan. She raised up a nife, aimpointing (LOL GEDDIT?) it at me, but then, a WILD YuriOfWind POPPED OUT. He was kinda smexy, my body went all hot kinda like a boner except I didn't get one because I'm swagi u sikco. Anyways, he procceded to turn into a gundam with a large lump on it's neck and ripped Clockwork in half as hyper-realistic clock parts covered realistic blood flew everywhere. It was then, I saw something in Clockwork's gibs. It was a russian text. I was afraid of russian text, because it reminds me of when the pope molested me with a squid costume. It reminded me so much, that I jumped back and a fountain of semen and purple prose shot forth from my oral cavity. It was so sticky that it chemically bonded to Xanthia's clothing before it's electrons turned to positrons and it turned into anti-semen\anti-purple prose and annihalated her sugoi sailor suit, revealing a sentient sukumizu underneath.
"Well this got really fucking awkward and somewhat fetishistic really fast. I'm going to go and wash this shit off of me." Canthia said before kicking me in the wazoogas and going to da bYEAHthruum. After 6.19 minutes, Xanthia came out. There was fresh makeup on her nose, but it looked too hyper-realistic. At first, I thought it was hyper-realistic cocaine, but it was just photo-realistic makeup. But it looked like cocaine. Before anything could happen, a Shitty FNAF OC popped out from teh cocaine on Xanthia's nose and tackled Alphatom493 | Promethium45, who procceeded to hide, panic, and do something\nothing. Then, MakutaXadiret727 popped out, and stopped, and killed the shitty FNAF OC with his sexy touch. I was amazed, and almost jizzed myself in exitement, but Xanthia then roundhouse rekt me in the face, the balls, and the Motto TO LOVE Ru uncensored box set, all in one rek. It was then, a thought hit me. I knew that Terry Cavanagh and Vittorio Romeo would be going on another date because I'm a horrible stalker, so I used my dosh to buy us all sugoi sailor suits so we could watch at a reasonable distance.
"Do I have to wear this??" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 asked smexily with his preppy eyes that had faint sharingans.
"YES YOU DO MOTHERFUCKER!" I said, watching the sharingans dissapear from his eyes, and, by extention, the plot.
"Why am I being dragged into this again?" Yuru YuriOfWind asked as he woke up and the anti-depressents wore off.
"Do you read the broble?" I asked.
YuriOfWind: More or less.
--Lemme share a passage I memorised-- I said. Ezeikiel-- I was saying, but suddenly, Samuel L. Jackson, Quintin Tarrentino, and JonTron broke into the room, combined sexiness, and sexily kicked me in the member at the 314,159,265 times speed of light. Samuel L. Jackson and JonTron rode away in a limozine as Quintin Tarrentino left through my window. Tarrentino is love, Tarrentino is life.
So, as we time travel 15 minutes into the future for no fucking reason, He were all dress as sugoi animu wiafuz and were spying on Vittorio Romeo and Terry Cavanagh's date in La SoLEL. A policeman who looked like a white Morgan Freeman walked by. Since we all looked like a group of rabid yandere's (and one of us was a yandere) they questioned nothing. A short plumber wearing red overalls and a blue shirt with a fucking big-ass nose was staring from one of the bushes (probably masturbating to YuriOfWind's fanservice pantyshot) and none of us cared since he wasn't relevant to the plot. Terry and Vittorio both leaned in for a kiss, but all of a suddenly, and horrible 13 year old man with a bruned fac nd damaged eyes and a horribly infected mouth came blindly stumbling over in his feet. He looked like a hyper-realistic version of Jeff The Killer.
"They think I'M crazy, but they don't know they're the ones living in the delusion!" He muttered. Then he stepped into the light, allowing us to actually see him. IT WAS A HYPER_REALISTIM...OOOOH, IT WAS SO SCARY THAT I FUCKED UP THAT LINE! IT WAS A HYPER-REALISTIC VERSION OF JEFF THE KILLER~!!~1`2!!111!11!!!!!!!!!!11!1 His mouth was so infected, our bodies went all disfusted, kinda like vomiting except we didn't have ebola you racist fucks. Then Xanthia vomitted all over the emaciated white kid that looked like he was tring to b Burn Face Man but fucked it up. Then a familliar voice emerged. It didn't sound photoshop, it wasn't even 8-bit. It was the sound of unfiltered BurningTorrent, making a quick cameo, as she sexily walked down the street. Then the police pulled up.
"Hey, don't you five look like the kids that were caught on videographic evidance murdering 45 year-old Owner Guy?" The cop asked.
"No." I saidk.
"Well, alrighy then. I guess it isn't them. Time to move Otis." The cop, named Barney buy teh way (Geddit? way liek gerard?).
"Sure thing Barney" Otis said before rolling his way back into the car because he was so fats fast.
Then they drove away, so fast that hyper-raelistov doughnuts came out of the tires like pachinko balls. Like, bleleleleleleub. They stopped infront of BurningTorrent.
"Hey, weren't you dat dunkadelic hoe that blew up the WBC, then had a horrible alternate universe retelling of that tale written by the author of this story?" Barney asked, being meta as fucking goddamn shitty motherfucking shitfuck.
"I know what you are but what am I?" She asked.
"Well, I guess it ain't her. Goddamn, we need to find that Homestuck OC and thank her for what she did." Then they drove off faster then light speed, violationating the 11th commandment given by Carl Sagan. I could infer that cop car was made by Kent Hovind. I threw a rock at it, and it flew at 10^180(10^128)+3 kilometers per sexsexagintosecond, and hit the car's gas tank. The car's gas taint drained in 3 seconds and I do believe the gentleman's automobile was violently destroyed due to the rapid expansion of heated gases. We all put on sunglasses that said "Awooo~ on them and watched the explosion" and wathed the explosion.
We looked over to see Vittorio Romeo and Terry Cavanagh vanish into the distance, holding hands. I tried to stalk them but Xanthe smash me skull with rock ow ow fuck it hurst stup flamin me fac zuntia it hertz (LOL GEDDIT?) dammit dammit chanj ur tampin Butch (LOL GEDDIT? BCUZ LUZBINZ R AL BUCH LOL).
After that moment of bullshit storytelling, I walk with everyone for no reason until a Ticci Toby popped out. His stupid mask did breathing as he pules out an Axe. Then, Hoodie and Masky pop out. And then Kate poppes out. Then Jason Michael poppies out. Then their magic ran out. Then, Akko-chan popped out with Shiny Chariot's "rod".
『OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE?』 Akko said sexily.
Then, Homicidal Liu popped out because they had 12 more MP.
『YOU HAVE BRING GREAT DISHONOR TO FAMURY!!』 Said Liu.
"Why are all there's characters popping out? Why is their text coloured? Why do they also use a different typeface?" Xanthia ascii.
"Do you think this will ever be explained?" YuriOfWind asked. "Also, the japanese punctuation fucked up the line spacing. Way to go." YuriOfWind said, looking at me.
"Don't worry, I'll fix it!" I said and then unchecked 'Add a 10pt space after paragraphs'. But it was too late, Akko already shot Liu, and he was already dead. The Liu exploded, dying the proccess. Then Akko warped back to her reality. I chucked as I successfully made filler and some really shittily made meta shit.then. THen Ticci Toby spoke.
"WE NEED TO SUCCESSFULLY CROSSOVER EVERY ONE OF US INTO THIS WORLD!" He say. I kicked him in the nuts since I thought he was crazy. Then Ticci Toby spoke.
"FUCK MY GODDAMN BALLS!" he said. Kate was nearby and she said "Sure". They then had sexy and hyper-realistic semen splattered everywhere like a hentai. It was so smexy, that it reminded me of when Big Bubba took me to see the great deku tree or whatevert he fuck. That made me angry and very mad. So did did I backflips and kick face of Kate and Toby and they died to death with hyper-realistem blood. Hoodie and Masky ran away wtih Jason Michael. Then, BurningTorrent walked over swaggily.
"So, can I be in this story?" She asked sexily.
"Sure" I said as BurningTorrent became a main protagonist.
Suddenly, all of the ground except for most cracked open. From the whole that upined infrnt UV us, Kent Hovind emerged riding a hammer-proof cockroach. I looked at the newspaper. It was from 2015, and said "Freedom for Dr.Dino!" to me for some reason. Then, Kent Hovind held up the Blood Whistle in one hand.
"Now tell me kids. Do you belive in Evolutionism?" He asked.
He wasn't really too smexy.
We all nodded.
"Well, allow me to show you 100 reason why evolution is sooooo stupid." He said. He then played the blood whistle, and blood started to ooze from his eyes, which were now black and hyper-realistic. After he finished playing a demonic and pixilated version of the Ballad Of The Windfish, he began to recite one of his previous semenars(LOL GEDDIT?). His voice sounded like hyper-realistic glass scraping against a chalkboard. Everyone except Xnatia covered their ear. Xanthia kicked him in the nuts and we all sexily went home, except we didn't because as we were walking, Kent Hovind played a 19 note song at 87 decibels, ripping open a portal in space time. Then, a fuckton of shitty FNAF OC's popped through the portal, which made me shit myself. Then something happened that turned BurningTorrent's shit into putrid, vile, ubiquidous, omnivorous, enneahectagonal, and hyper-realistic diarrhea. A texas-sized pig stomped it's way of the portal. It's eyes were hyper-realistic and transparent, and trhough them we all could see that it was Eric Hovind was the pilot. The shitty FNAF OC's rekt havoc on the town of Townsville, so we did the only sensable thing and moved to Asia. Whilst they're we met 3 fine chaps named Toby, Matt, and Jacob. I tried to put Toby into a sexy Xenomorph costume a couple of times but ultimately my efforts were thwarted.
Anyways, it was 6:66 AM at 6/6/2136, meaning this took place in the past and I retroactively created another plot hole that I will not address. We noticed we were running low an guns, and Xanthia was no-longer a painful rip-off of Uppotte character. It was then, I got an amazing idea.
"Wait, so were gonna join what?" Xanthia asked.
"ISIS" I responded.
"I thought we all agreed that Islam was bullshit, and our steam group would always play CS:GO as the CT team!" Yandere-Chan responded.
"THAT SCORE WASN'T LEGIT ALPHA!" Boshy yelled.
Everyone threw hyper-realistic bricks at Boshy's head and called him a fucktard.
"k den" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
"Why are we even going to join ISIS?" YuriOfWind flossed.
"Well, I guess it could be a good comedic setup." BT responded.
"Actually I have a better idea." I said.
After leaving our intentions ambiguous for no good reason, we all left to go join ISIS. It was 6.66 hours later when we finally reached ISISville. Snoop Dogg was with us for some reason. After we joined ISIS we were driving around in an ISIS convoy and waving stupid looking flags everwhere until we got to ISIS HQ. It's then that I put my plan into action. Immediately was I grabed Xanthia and Snoop Dogg's hands a dragged they which me as we went to the armory. The rest of the gang followed close by. After sealing ourselves in the armory, we began stealing their guns. And we would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling ISIS members. They pinted they're guns at us. I knew it was no use to try to fight back, as Silver the Hedgehog travled to our time for the soul purpose of saying "IT'S NO USE!" before being shot dead by terrorists. Since one of the terrorists were JC-The-Hyena, he kraid evry tim.
Just as we all threw up our hands in surrender, Snoop Dogg began yelling. Dragon Ball Z music started playing as his clothes ripped off, leaving him wearing a pair of weed-pattern boxers. He kept screaming as electricity formed around him and a yellow light blinded us all. His hair became spiky as fuck and turned a bright blonde. His eyes turned blue.
"Dat shiznit be da dopest steez ma ass eva peeped up in DIS biatch!"
Snoop Dogg had become a Super Saiyan.
He dual wielded two Smart Guns as began to shrekt every member of ISIS. News Helicopters flew above, filming his killstreak. After he finished his dank quickscope montage, we all walked out with guns. BT then discovered she had the power to morph reality, and madoka majicka'd in a ROFLcopter and everyone's normal clothes. Then BT couldn't do jack shit. We all got into the ROFLcopter, I watched as the FNAF OC's then started to claim the ISIS HQ behind us. I began to start quickscoper them with my Barrett M82 | Asiimov (Battle-Scarred) that I skrubt (LOL GEDDIT?) the Kawaii Killer T sticker off of.
"Maybe it's just me, but I prefer less round things." I said to Alphatom493 | Promethium45. I then faceplanned and said "WELL IF IT'S WHAT I LIKE IT IS JUST ME."
"ik" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
"I like ALL CAPS pointing out of my contradiction."
Alphatom493 | Promethium45: "You like less round things?"
"Yep."
"Any circles in your pack?"
"There's a hectogon." I said.
"100 sides FTW!" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
"So far, 100 sides is the highest amount of sides any of my levels have or could have." I said.
"DECEMYRIAGON IS REAL!" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
Me: "I MUST NOW MAKE A DECEMYRIAGON, AFTER I FINISH APPLYING THESE STICKERS!" I said.
"Lel K. The walls will be so thin, it's un-noticeable." Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
"YES!" I yelled sexily.
"With 1e99999 rotation, and -2 skew (reversed controls for 0 skew) with 100 depth!" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 ideas.
"I think the 100 depth would kill the collection of 5 toasters I call a GPU and the 15 floppy disks I call random-access memory. It's a miracle my Lenovo can run Windows 7 if I'm honest."
"The fuck are you two on about?" BT and Xanthia said togetheir. We ignored them.
"Lel k, just go into the config.json and set 'pixel_multiplier': 50". Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
"Wait a second, who's flying the ROFLcopter?" YuriOfWind asked.
"Muthafucka', mah ass don't KNOW dat shit!" Snoop Dogg reponded.
"What now?" Yandere-Chan asked, looking away from the picture of Senpai-Kun she had.
Then the ROFLcopter stopped going SOISOISOISOI and fell from the sky. It hit the earth and turned the canyon we hit in2 fukn nagasaki m9 because BT had some hair product with her.
"Will you stop stealing jokes from me? Goddamn, even your latest fucking piece was essentially a plot-line you took from me!" BT yielded in madly.
Then, Sakkijarven Polkka started playing. That's when I knew that we were in Finland. Everyone walked around with berets for some reason, and they were constantly eating baguettes dipped in rhubarb pudding. I looked over and saw Mattiesense666 fighting off an army of hyper-realistic zombie BENs with a Mata Nui sword. He slashed open one of the hyper-realistic zombie BEN's, a an StatTrak(tm) Five-Seven | Hyper-Beast (Factory New) flew out of it. I stopped, and caught it. It blinked twice as with the normal StatTrak(tm) Five-Seven | Hyper-Beast (Factory New). I quickly slapped a Kawaii Killer CT sticker on THE GUN really fast. I looked over to see Snoop Dogg staring into the sunset.
"Snoop-senpai! What's wrong?" I asked.
Snoop Dogg just gave me a look that upset my feels. Then went back to staring directly into the sun. He took a hit from his bong before he took flight.
"NOOOO! SNOOP-SENPAI!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I yielded with feels in my voice.
Snoop Dogg just turned his head to me as he flew into the distance and said one thing.
"I don't got no love fo' hoes..."
Then he zoomed into the distance at 299,792,458 meters per second, leaving behind a trail of potsmoke. I then saw something, it was a nametag that fell from Snoop Dogg's potsmoke cloud. I put it on my gun.
...
What? STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) is EVOLVING?
...
Your STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) evolved into THE STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW)!
I was amazed at this. I inspected the gun and it's StatTrak counter read '666'. I then heard multiple explosions, as nearby
fivesevenhyperbeastfactorynew.png){kind=link}
First-person view
StatTrak(tm) Five-Seven | Hyper-Beast (Factory New) exploded all over the world, leaving me with the only one. Suddenly, Xanthia began firerireing her M41A | FaZe (Battle-Scarred) at 900 rpm at a group of shitty FNAF OC's that were providing recon for Freddy Fazbear's Headquarters. However, a group of shitty Jeff ripoffs then apperiated adn began to fite them IRL. The Jeff ripoffs then killed the shitty FNAF OC's and came after us. Xanthia didn't kill any when she was shooting because the patriarchy oppressed her, so I took THE STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) and shotted them al 2 die. I quickly noticed that THE STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) fired semen-painted astatine bullets that had silver bullet casings for extra sexy. The firing didn't sound photoshop, there was an eerie hyper-realistic pause between the initial fire sound anad the thump. I suddenly stopped and watched as Kul3dud3 came out of his house for the purpose of another celebrity cameo. Since he was sick of being trolled by AzmoTheAwesome, he went outside. Since hew as teh detective this round, I made him inspect the corpses. After 6 minutes of necrophiliac sex, he was able to identify them as Kyle The Killer, Nina The Killer, and Max The Killer. Hte rekage that the Jeff ripoffs faced caught Mattiesensei666's attention.
"So what's going on here?" Mattiesensei666 asked.
"We're trying to save the world from the shitty FNAF OC's and the Jeff The Killer rip-offs!" I proudly exclaimed.
"Well, I guess my presence here would be wasted if I was just another cameo. I guess I'll join you if it means I get to show these dumbass wankers what for." Mattiesensei666 said as the new party member jingle from earthboud played in the backgroun, but so faint nobody could hear it. I looked back to see Xanthia and BurningTorrent making lovey dovey eyes at eachother. Were they going to develope some kind of lesbian lovestory sub-plot?
"I like how your hair smells" Xanthia said like she was high.
"Well it did predict 6\26" BT said like she was high.
I then saw their eyes were bloodshot. Did they watch A Serbian Film behind my back? Then I saw Alphatom493 | Promethium45 working on a new pack after his Dedication album.
"What are you doing Alphatom493 | Promethium45?" I asked sexily.
"Calling for backup." He said.
Then, Hexadorsip and Alex Corruptor came out of Alphatom493 | Promethium45's computer screen. The overwhelming amount of male characters then set off Anita Sarkeesian and Briana Wu's rape detector, and they teleported here.
"There's obviously some sort of patriarchy going on here." Anita said.
"Which means we'll have to take care of it!" Briana says.
Then they spawned a combine hunter-chopper.
"FUKIN' RUN M8!" I yielded as BT madoka majicka'd up the war rig from Mad Max: Fury Road.
We all got in it and Mattiesensei666 hooked up a glatorian weapon launcher. We started drive fast and did backflips and kept driving fast. Mattiesensei666 kept firing Bionicle weapons at a rate of 1,231,949,516,161,346 rpm. Once we realised that the weapons did jack shit, Mattiesensei666 summoned his MOC, Xadiret. Xadiret them transformered into his complete form just as Anita and Briana finished winding up the minigun. Xadiret swallowed every bullet it fired which made no sense considering the ammunition the combine use. The hunter chopper began dropping it's bombs, which Xadiret used like pong balls. The hunter chopper, now with heavy damages, did a barrel roll, which was so outdated of a
Goddammit Nux!
meme it caused Xadiret to explode into a mess of hyper-realistic semen. Mattiesensei666 had no other choice, he summoned ShowWithNoName, FunkyFeem727, and Tyrone. They combined sexiness and took on the form of Super Spooky Smexy Sexy Hyper-Realistic Rainbow Xadiret, and bring down Anita and Briana's hunter chopper with 666 punches delivered in 0.00000666 femtoseconds. Anita and Briana's hunter chopper then spiraled into a hair product factory, and exploded in an explosion so big it wiped out all of Finland. We all looked back at the explosion, before Nux jacked the war-rig and flipped it over, which destroys the entire combine squadron that we never noticed following us in a painful rip-off of the ending of Mad Max: Fury Road.
"Well that was probably one of the worst stunts I've ever seen." YuriOfWind said seductively.
"Can we stop with these oddly silent and very fanfic-esque battle scenes?" Xanthia says frustraitedly.
Suddenly, a bunch of pinapples fall around us.
"Is this supposed to represent something? Hexadorsip says D"
Suddenly, the pineapples transform into shitty FNAF OC's.
"YANDERE-CHAN! GO NUTS!" I yelled.
"Yandere-chan?" YuriOfWind asks.
"What happened to Yandere-Chan?" Alex asks.
"I think she dissapeared from the plot. Fuck." BT says
"Well this is stupid. Said Hexadorsip"
Then the Shitty FNAF OC's attack Alphatom493 | Promethium45. Alphatom493 | Promethium45 then uses WallSAcc with
Smexy, ain't it?
0.0005 THICKNESS to crush Lenny the Leopard and Axel the Axlotl. Alex Corruptor injects level scripts into Jenny the Jellyfish and sets the max pulse to 420,360,666, which makes Jenny explode. Kai the Coyote then leaps at Hexadorsip, but the level pulse allows Hexadorsip to teleport infront of Kyle. Xanthia then picks up and StatTrak(tm) AWP | Hyper-Beast (Factory New) and noscopes Kyle, ripping him in half and causing the severe points to spurt hyper-realistic blood as the words '#R3KT' comes up on screen for 4.20 seconds. Xanthia then inspected the AWP and saw the nametag on it. It reads "StatTrak(tm) 420 Bloodsoaker | Hyper-Beast (Factory New)".
"Why are both our new signature weapons the same skin series?" Xanthia ama'd.
"This must mean that Carl Sagan wills us to fall in love!" I said with love-dovey look in my eyes like in anime.
"Ugh, when will you realise that the only reason I kissed you is that the plot demanded it? Didn't that moment feel horribly forced since I want to strangle you every femtosecond I have to stand on the same planet as you?" Xanthia.
"The plots not going to move until we do!" we heard Mattiesensei666 yell from the distance. We all followed. We walked for a rough estimate of 30.14159265 seconds and got lost in a forest. It was weird since we were in a dessert the moment ago, but I just thought it was a glitch and carried on. The flashlight we looted from Amanda Ripley's corpse was getting weaker by the moment, but it didn't care because it was early int he morning. It wasn't long until we kept seeing some wierd tall guy in a fancy suit teleporting along. I just thought it was a glitch until YuriOfWind fell dead with no fac.
"HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT? Yielded Hexadorsip."
"I know this isn't exactly the time, but why do you never speak properly?" Xanthia asked Hexadorsip.
"Why are you making fun of my autism? Hexadorsip said offended."
"No, I didn't mean that. I ment how your speech is punctuated." Xanthia said.
"Do you think this is the time to get all meta and self-referencial?" Alex asked.
"Well, she did say it isn't the time." Alphatom493 | Promethium45 said.
It was then, we saw who it was. SLINDURMIN WUZ DERE! OMG DIS IZ PRUF DA SLANDRMUN ECIZT WOW omg1!1!111!!1! Then Xanthia noscoper Slumdirmon, and he died just like the coyote. Meaning this entire section was entirely pointless. Then, 15 bad Jeff ripoffs came up. Spaurua The Fox, Bloodthirsty, Hoodie, Masky, Paige The Killer, The New Killer, Jason Michael, and Jane The Killer showed up with other killers I don't know the name of.
"ITS FUKIN BATL TIM M80S" BT said then engaged the killers motherfucker.
BT attacked one of the unknown killers by vomiting volitile skittles all over her. Mattiesensei666 slashed the arms off of The New Killer with a Mata Nui sword before summoning Xadiret to rekage New. Bloodthirsty then rekt Hexadorsip by severing the arms with a pocket nif. Xanthia tried to hardscope Jane, but since Xanthia was using the scope of the StatTrak 420 BloodSoaker | Hyper-Beast (Factory New), no boolits came out, and Jane rekt Xanthia. Jason Michael managed to slash open Alex, but Alex made Jason pulse so much that Jason's skeleton was crushed and re-arranged. Hoodie and Masky started slashing at Alphatom493 | Promethium45, but Alphatom493 | Promethium45 kept dodging their slashes, but Masky was secretly half-banana, and dropped a banana peel, which Alphatom493 | Promethium45 slipped on and borkened in's neck. It was now me, Mattiesensei666, and BurningTorrent. BurningTorrent managed to knife Hoodie and Masky with a diamond sword, but Bloodthirsty spoke a large run-on sentance and impaled BT with it. Mattiesensei666 managed to haduken Jane, but Jane's 14 year old invincibility power made her survive as a skeleton. Jane The Skeleton then popped out and spooky Mattiesensei666 to death, then brought all the dead killers back to life. Sparua summoned EVIL PATRIXXX who spookyed me soo bad, I thought I was in a good story. They were about to reap me, then kil meh, den reap mii agen, but then, a portal opened. Out stepped Akko, who threw Yandere-Chan and Raiko into our universe. Yandere-Chan and Raiko then went hyper-yandere and rekt every killer. Since we won the round, all of the protagonists were brought back to life. However, the deaths of female characters then triggered Anita and Briana's patriarchy alert.
"Where there's reality, there's women oppression!" Anita nd Briana said as they arrived.
"FUCKING SHUT UP!" Xanthia yelled, then cunt punted both of them. Xanthia then picked up her StatTrak(tm) 420 Bloodsoaker | Hyper-Beast (Factory New) and fired 666,333 rpm with perfect accuracy, dostroying Anita and Briana for the next few paragraphs.
After that, we then looked over to see the Jeff The Killer Ripoff HQ, AKA the place where Wattpad is hoasted. Inside, we found Jeff the Killer, attacking all his clones.
"Hey Jeff, do you hate these-" I was saying, but then, Jacob, Matt, and Toby popped out.
"FISHLIPS! YOU RAIN OF TERROR ENDS HERE!" Said Jacob, making a deliberate typo.
"THAT'S NOT MY NAME YOU DUMB FAGGOT SHITHEAD!" Jeff said.
"Don't worry Jacob, I'll handle this!" Matt said. Matt then climbed up the largest ladder he could find, meaning he was now 180 meters up. He then did a swan dive and landed of Jeff, squarting Jeff 2 ded.
"Good job Matt." Toby congradulated then fistbumped Matt. Then, hundreds of shitty Jeff ripoffs popped out. Matt quickly wipped out the Katamari and began rolling them up. Jacob pulled out a box of eggs with infinite ammo and threw eggs on the Jeff rip-offs, krillin' them instantly. Toby just flashed his sexiness, which killed severl Jeff rip-offs instantly. Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Hexadorsip, and Alex Corruptor all combined sexiness.
"GO-GO GADGET...DECEMYRIAGON!!!" They yelled and digivolved into a sentient Decemyriagon. They then started spawning walls OnStep, which were so think that the Jeff rip-offs never noticed them. YuriOfWind opened up audacity and read each and every one of the Jeff rip-off's backstories, which rekt them so hard that they explod into a mound of hyper-realistic organs. Raiko enabled hyper-sexiness mode and sexily seductively slash open all the Jeff the Killer rip-offs that were sitting around and micspamming Cheeki Breeki. Xanthia was put on 1A1-bit sun-that-guy-with-the-glasses and noscoper with mountain shrekage CodeRed. I then TOOK OOUT A PEESTUL ND STATED 2 shot skrubs in feces. BT then summoned her waifu, Snoop Dogg, and watched as Snoop shot a LAZOR from his mouth, shrekting severl Jeff ripoffs. Mattiesensei666, FunkyFeem727, Tyrone, and ShowWithNoName again began to film the Jeff the killer ropoffs sexily, and Feem was masticating to it. The video didn't look photoshop, it was actually animated. But, the Jeff Ropeoffs then ruined everything, as they convinced Raiko to join their side. For no reason, everyone stopped fighting. It was then, we knew why.
Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta then popped out.
"Mmmm, this is a tastey burgar." Samuel L. Jackson said, eating a royale with cheese.
"Jules, I'm still waiting for that foot-massage." John said.
"Fuck you." Samuel L. Jackson sida.
"Um, who are you?" Cleo the Killer asked.
"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING!" Samuel L. Jackson said and then went on a dank quickscope montage. He shrekt 50% of the Jeff rip-offs before he slipped on a banana peel and ded instantly. Then, one of the walls was dostroyed when Orion Soul Geneva choked to death on Snoop Dogg's potsmoke attack. There, was senpai-kun. Tied up. We then knew what this was poorly foreshadowing. Yandere-Chan popped out and gracefully slaughtered all the Jeff rip-offs kinda like a cross between Yuno Gasai and Marylon Manson. Yandere-Chan untied Senpai-kun, who then got scarred and ran off, leaving yandere-chan standing in shock.
"Well, that was quick." I said, putting away THE STATTRAK(TM) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW). It was then, I looked at one of the walls. Carved in the wall and coloured with red and black hyper-realistic blood and hyper-realistic semen were the words "Better Ingrediants". It probably wasn't important to the plot, so I just thought it was a glitch and moved on.
"Yandere-chan? Are you okay?" Raiko said.
"So what's next on our godawful hitlist?" Xanthia said, ejecting the clip of her STATTRAK(tm) 420 BLOODSOAKER | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW).
"It's called a Mag, dumbass." Said someone. IT WAS SPINNER OONIE!
"BUT YOU FUCKING DIED!?" Me, BT and Xanthia said seductively.
"BUT I AM NOW HEADCRAB ZOMBIE!" Spinner shouted. We then noticed the headcrab with the shitty juggalo facepaint on it. He made creationist sounds, but Mattiesensei666 just got angry and shrekt him by refuting all his bullshit arguements at 299,792,458 syllables per second. This caused Spinner's mentally-disabled mime paint to splatter everywhere as he died in an explosion of hyper-realistic milk and low-resolution honey.
"So, what do we do after that Big Lipped Aligator Moment?" Xanthia asked.
"Let's see, according to my calculation, we must trek to SMK's Shitty Motherfucking Goddamn Pizzeria to combat the Shitty FNAF OC's."
"And how do we get there?" Yandere-Chan asked.
"Well, there's that old passage through Ravenholm." I said.
"ISN'T THERE ANOTHER WAY?!" Everyone asked in unison.
"idk." I said.
Then we went home. I used FireFox to go on TVTropes.org and looked for the answered. When I feint anserwed I find out the placed was that fastest Super Spooky Smexy Sexy Hyper-Relistic Rainbow Candlyand of The Bad Pasta Monsters. I wased then I realise somting grammar was rong wit spel. No coma.
"OMG Sang wat did u do the gramer to it? AWFUL!" Yell Xanthiana.
"Fuk gramer so shitted talked bad!" YriuOgWand shooted angary.
"Well this took a nosedive." BG sae lal skruy
"GOO BF Y R U NUT AFET BI DA PETR KIMERS MASHEN" i eyld afert skan relity nd fond sasser nd kil wit a an ronadl ragain doldis
"Remember, I'm the goddess of sweg." BJ sie wit sxei al lik joni cache.
Then the Peter Chimaera machine.
"Fucking...will you fucking stop fucking creating goddamn motherfucking BLAMs m80?" BT said.
"Yeah, kk gg no re 8\8 BJ" I said.
"K" BT said.
We then got suited up for our young turks (haha geddit?) trhooo the Super Spooky Smexy Sexy Hyper-Realistic Rainbow Candyland Of The Bad Pasta Monsters. It was exactly 3 miles intoo our trek when we stumbled upon an guy who looks osu!addict and a stalker who has autism. Her name was Ayayase. He was a Magical Girl kinda like a hammer and sickle (GEDDIT? BCUZ IM A KOMMI?) between Sailor Moon and Carl Sagan. He she was so hyper-smexy that I fell down and became fappening. He was busy ninja-fighting a bunch of transgendered yakuza that she stole a snail from.
"GIVE US BACK THE SNAIR!" Said the hyper-realistic transgendered yakuza.
"NO! IF I DID I WOURD BRING GREEEAAT DISHONOR TO FAMURY!" Ayayase did. "GO GO DIGIMON, NEIR DEGRASSE TYSON!" He said and then started a transformation sequance that was similar to Sailor Moon. Afterwards, She became Sailor Sagittarius B. Sailor Sagittarius B then shrekt the spooky transgendered yakuza by summoning the Shinger.
"SHING!" It sid and shagged each one of the transgendered yakuza, splattering yhper-relimstattrak blood everywhere. Blood on the candycanes, blood on the floor, blood on the dancefloor, blood on the walls, the door, the picture of chris pratt, Yandere-Chan, the super spooky battle-toads of hyper-realism, Sonic.exe's eyes, Sonic's arms (which stained them Red, which pissed of CWC more), and the dinosaur, who screamed a might screamed filled with clones of David Kneeream. The clones of David Kneeream then jumped into the corpses of transgendered yakuza, and used them like fursuits. And suddenly, Digger popped out. Digger screamed like in FNAF but it was more pixilated.
"Well, bugger this shit! Everything that could possibly go wrong is FUCKING SPIRALLING OUT OF CONTROL!" Toby yelled, flailing around like an autistic 11 year old.
"TOBY! GET IT TOGETHER!" Matt yelled.
"NO!" Toby yielded badly. Toby then pulled out his dick and procceeded to fire 297,562 pillows which travelled at the speed of sound, decapitating the David Kneeream clones and the animatronic mole.
"Wow Toby, where the hell did you learn to do that?" Jacob said sexily.
"Ugh, this plot moves slower then frozen mollases." Xanthia said. She garbed YuriOfWind, Alphatom493 | Promethium45 and gave Yandere-Chan a piggy-back ride like in a anime. Hexadorsip and Alex followed behind. We watched as she sexily began venturing off, noscopering the childeren of the forrest as she went along.
And them, the Shinger turned against us.
"SHING SHING SHING!" It yelled. We all ran screaming. Toby began strafing and used his dick to keep shooting pillows at the Shinger, but it's no use! BT started throwing hyper-realistic blunts at the Shinger, which did about 0.005 damage each. Since BT was high she didn't give a fuck. Mattiesensei666 became Xadiret and transformed into his perfect form, but was lagging behind since the transformation sequence took up 30 minutes of this pasta's runtime. I took out THE STATTRAK(tm) FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) and began to shooted real fasty, but the boolits could not kill since Shinger was from a different time. The Shinger then vomitted out a hyper-realistic purple prose, which landed in a wrathful, desolate, pervese conglomeration of instantanious depravity and reprisal, which hurt all our feels. The hurt in feels then led us into a candy jungle, where the floor was made of gumdrops and the water was made of milk. OR WAS IT SEMEN ALL ALONG? We had no choice and began running on the milk to escape the shinger. We thought we lost it, but then, the Shinger apperiated riding a texas sized pig, which was being piloted by Eric Hovind. MakutaXadiret727 fell into the milk and stuck there, proving that it was now semen. We all stopped running in disgust and we fell into the semen too. Since it was sticky this time, we were stuck because the semen was sticky. The texas-sized pig (By the way, named Gaius) then stopped infront of us. A tube shot out of it's asshole and sucked us all in. We landed in the piloting room thingy, there stood the Shinger and Eric Hovind.
"Well, I see we have a few stupid evolutionists here, don't we Shinger?" Eric said, stroaking the Shinger.
"No hang on a-" Jacob tried to speak but Eric silenced him.
"Now, don't worry. God forgives all sins!" Eric said. Then he began to lecture us about the book of Genesis.
Whilst Eric was lecturing, I threw a claymore swords at the pig's eye, which destracted the Shinger and caused the pig to rear back, which knocked us back out of the pig's ass and we landed safely in the semen. We were stuck though, because the semen was sticky. Just when we thought it was the end of the story, a miracle happened.
Carl Sagan sent Ridley Scott from atheist heaven to help us. Ridley Scott spawned 50 million xenomorphs, which began to shrekon the inside of the texas sized pig. This knocked the Shinger and Eric Hovind out of it as it fell dead, half-submerged in semen, which was really sticky. Ridley Scott then spawned a praetorian and a facehugger. And the praetorian shrekt the Shinger and gave Eric Hovind the chestbursters. After the Chestburster came out, Eric Hovind was still alive.
"You dumb atheists forgot that I have God's divine guidence." Eric said.
Then, Ridley Scott spawned a xenomorph queen. The queen was so angry it reaped Eric Hovind into pulp, and to this day my feels still hurt and are sore. Ridley Scott then saluted as he ate a magic warp dorito, which turned the semen into Mountain Dew. We all swam to the nearest land, but then, we realised...
...THE SHINGER WASN'T KRILL AND IT CAN'T BE KILL BECAUSE IT IS FROM A DIFFERENT TIME!!!!11!1!!1!!1@@22@22@@@@222@`~~``
SO we kept running for 3.14159265 hours until we came to a cave. We got into the cave and the Shinger couldn't fit through. I shot it with THE STATTRAK(tm) FIVESEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY-NEW) and it died. Then we heard demonic laughter and we saw zombie ragdoll devils waltzing around the cave. We then saw a haunting version fo SCP-173 and The Rake. It was Deadsun. We were started running, but Deadsun garbed Jacob and covered his oranges with ectoplasm!!! Ayayase then fired a jelly doughnut at Deadsun, and Deadsun started creaming like shit. Deadsun then died a hyper-realistic death and Jacob was almost kill.
"Well, I'm glad that's over." I said.
"NO SONG! YOU ARE THE DEADSUN!" Shao Kahnix said. I looked around since I didn't know who spoke. I then saw it was Shao Kahnix! His abs were so sexy that I nearly started fappening, but when I triedf, I looekd down and saw that I was now a haunting pentagram (GEDDIT?) between SCP-173 and The Rake.
"OMG BT WAT HAPPEN?" I asked.
"I think your family made the hell sex sex sex, as shown in AI yaoi contract." BT said, which I had to badly transcribed from SOG's video since it was a while since I Minecraft AI Conspiracy.
"Then, I stood up and killed Shao Kahnix." Said Jacob, reading the script. He then stood up sexily and seductively killed Shao Kahnix.
"All part of my plan!" A booming voice was heard.
"What the fuck?" We all said in unison.
"WE CAN'T KILL THAT THING! IT'S A BEAST VERSION OF OUR MASCOT!" another booming voice shouted.
Hours later, it was now night. The scene pans in as Xanthia is sitting with Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Alex Corruptor, Hexadorsip, Yandere-Chan, and YuriOfWind at the entrance to SMK's Shitty Motherfucking Goddamn Pizzeria.
"You know what? I think they died. It's a shame since we won't get anymore episodes of Bad Creepypasta, but atleast Song's gone." Xanthia said.
"Yeah, but I don't think it's a necessary to sacrifice the folks over at Blue Majora." Said Alphatom493 | Promethium45.
"Then again, Song did horribly deseminate Mad Max... Said Hexadorsip."
"Yeah, but then again, we'd also be getting rid of BurningTorrent." YuriOfWind chimed in.
"Don't forget Mattiesensei666." Said Alex.
Then me, Jacob, Matt, Toby, BT, and Mattiesensei666 appeariated.
"Sup niggas!" I yielded. Everyone looked at us as Suprise, Shock, and Horror all watched from the bushes (probably masturbating).
"Goddammit Song! Why can't you just die?!" Xanthia said.
"Xanthia, you know I'm the most Mary Sue motherfucking self-insert ever!" I said seductively.
"Yeah, but you have the personality of a cinder block and the intelligence of one too. Plus, you always smell like mashed potatos." She said.
"Mattiesensei666, are you hurt?" Yandere-Chan asked.
"Ugh, do I have to say this line?" Xanthia asked, looking at the script and cringing.
"YES! NOW STFU!" I yielded.
"Ugh...that's not his blood. Why do you have to steal shit from the best George Miller movies ever made?" Xanthia said as the camera angle panned up to show Mattiesensei666 covered in Aizen's blood.
"Because they're cool" I said.
"So, what's the plan for this? Asked Hexadorsip."
"Wait, what happened to Raiko?" Asked Alex.
Then I began explaining the conveluted plan to everyone. It was 15 minutes later, we koked on da dor and then kicked it down. Everything went in a matrix style slow-motion as all the animatronics came flooding out. Toby began to shoot pillows from his dick again. Xanthia began to noscoper really fast and shrekt every shitty FNAF OC that attackingeder her. Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Hexadorsip, and Alex Corruptor combined their sexiness and ahnked their male energy, becoming the world's hardest Open Hexagon level, formless and so impossible that only Alphatom493 | Promethium45 himself could complete it. Matt swallowed 9,956,828 bags of doritos and began to spit out each crisp at over mach 69, shrekting alot of shitty FNAF OCs. BT just set alot of them on fire. YuriOfWind turned into Ayane from DOA and began to kung-fu the shit out of the shitty FNAF OC's individually. Mattiesensei666 struck a ginyu force pose like he had beaten the level, which summoned DuncesAndRobots, CardboardStronghold, FunkyFeem727, Tyrone, and ShowWithNoName, and they all pulled out blak gunz and shotted the shitty FNAF OC's. Jacob thew Toffee Crisp frag grenades. Ayayase made the shitty FNAF OCs start creaming like shit. I began to shoot really fast THE STATTRAK FIVE-SEVEN | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW). We finished off the shitty FNAF OC's, but then, the ceiling fell, and we were unable to get to the final boss of of this level and kill them. Then the radio said:
"GODDAMMIT YOU SHITTY FUCKING GODDAMN N*GGER FAGS!" SMK said over the radio. Then, through the rubble, SMK appeared. We all laughed at the pathetic 11 year old infront of us.
"YOU'RE ALL FUCKING GAY-ASS N*GGER FAGS!" he said. Then, SMK transformed into Super Withered Toy
So spooky! Wow!
Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid. We were all afraind because we thought it ment he was connected with Satan. He punched us all so hard that we flew awaaaay~! We all crashed through a church and landed on our feetsies like in a ninja animoe, and to this day our feet still hurt and are sore. I looked around, and saw Terry Cavanagh and Vittorio Romeo. They were both in wedding dresses. Thats when it hit me...
This was Vittorio Romeo and Terry Cavanagh's wedding!
Alphatom493 | Promethium45 fell down laughing. I would have started fappening, but then, 666 sonic OCs came in and Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid dropped down infront of us.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FUCKING FAT-ASS GAY MOTHERFUCKING N*GGER FAGS!" SMK shouted.
We all tried to attack Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid, but the Sonic OCs stopped us. Then, a super smexy black guy came in.
"Hey what's up guys? It's the BLACKBusterCritic!" He shouted. He shot a beam from his mouth, killing several sonic OCs. He then dressed up like Neo and began to have a kung fu fight with the rest of the sonic OCs. A portal opened, and out came Anti-Alien Soul TriggerSwitch The Supreme Hedgie along with SOG The Edgehog. They both did Nazi salutes and airhumped before n-gaging the BLACKBusterCritic motherfucker. While they were fighting, we all got ready. We all combined sexiness, forming TheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind. We sounded like a cross between Bernie Sanders and David Cameron, and looked like a purple version of Carl Sagan
#Selfie
dressed as Hatsune Miku. TheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind started wrestling with Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid. He used a kick, but TheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind countered with a throw.
TheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind then weint into Yandere-mode and snapped, and took out a Karambit | Fade (Factory-New) and began yo haypr-slashy at Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid, who bled hyper-realistic grape soda.
"FUCK! WHAT AM I? SOME FUCKING GAY ASS N*GGER FAGGOT?" SMK shouted then vomitted hyper-realistic chinease asians. They weren't regular chinease asians, as they were part of the chinease illuminati. TheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind activated the perminant sexiness cheat, which killed the chinease illuminati members OnUpdate(mFrametime). Then, the melon lord popped out and fused with Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid, forming SWTNSGMKML.
"Well, we're fucked." Said Mattiesensei666's voice.
"Actually, let me handle this." ShowWithNoName's voice said. ShowWithNoName then critiqued each of SWTNSGMKML actions and videos, which weakened SWTNSGMKML. BT then wrote a trollpasta about SWTNSGMKML, weakening him more. Xanthia insulted SWTNSGMK in every way she could think of. Jacob, Matt, and Toby read one of SWTNSGMKML's fanfictions, with Mattiesensei666, ShowWithNoName, Tyrone, FunkyFeem727, and YuriOfWind. Yandere-Chan summoned Raiko, and Raiko used some of Yandere-Chan's sexiness aura to help her cut off SWTNSGMKML's legs. Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Hexadorsip, and Alex Corruptor made an Open Hexagon 1.92 level that made SWTNSGMKML rage. Then, BLACKBusterCritic, Mutahar, Michael Rosen, Snoop Dogg, and Carl Sagan appeared. They combined their sexiness with us, and we became you, and you became SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind. SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind then struck a ginyu force pose, before making a cup shape with it's hands. Then it went and got some water and splashed it in it's own face.
"Ah, wait, what were we doing? Oh yeah." SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind said. Then, it belted out the words:
"Kame...HAME...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1112!!11!!11!!!11!!1!!!111!!111!!!!1!!" yielded SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind argngarily. A vaccume of bleach then fired from SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind's hands, incinerating SWTNSGMKL's body. As he was kill, SWTNSGMKL said his last words.
"YOU FUCKING GODDAMN GAY FAGGOT BITCH CUNT N*GGER DICK FUCKS!" SWTNSGMKL shouted then dies a very viscous death. The smoke that came from his body formed the words "Better Pizza". It was then, I noticed something. "Better Ingrediants, Better Pizza..."
"PAPA JOHN!!!" SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind yielded badly. Then, Papa John materialized before us! "
HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He kefka laughed as blood came from his hyper ealistic blak eyes with red acogs. "Did you think it would end that easily? With my newfound pizza powers, I have gained the ability to bring all thinks pizza related back to life as robots!" He said.
"ENGAGE PAPA JOHN MOTHERFUCKER!" SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind said in unison. Papa John then fused with the ninja turtles, Kent Hovind, and Ken Ham, forming the Teenage Mutant Papa Dino Ham. Panty And Stocking music started to play, as we pulled up our weapon, THE STATTRAK(tm) BALLISTA | AKHIBARA ACCEPT (FACTORY NEW). Teenage Mutant Papa Dino Ham then pulled out the Bananite Cannon, and fired an endless stream of bananas. Then, SomeOrdinaryMichaelBusterCarlDoggTheBurningBlueFunkyTyronethia96|AlphaCorrupdorsip-Chan666WithNoNameOfWind pulled the trigger of THE STATTRAK(tm) BALLISTA | AKHIBARA ACCEPT (FACTORY NEW), and it fired a stream of, you guessed it, semen. This caused Teenage Mutant Papa Dino Ham to explode into a mess of bananas and photo-realistic blood. And then, everything was lovely once more, wonderful. As the Panty And Stocking music stopped, we all uncombined. The wedding continued as usual. Vittorio Romeo and Terry Cavanagh looked into eachother's eyes as they kissed, and were pronounced husband and husband.
One week later, Me and Xanthia finally reached the day of our hyper-realistic wedding. Raiko, Tommy Wiseau, HoodoHoodlumsRevenge, Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Boshy Time, Alex Corruptor, Hexadorsip, Minecraft Hexagon, Terry Cavanagh, Vittorio Romeo, BLACKBusterCritic, Carl Sagan, Snoop Dogg, Biggie Smalls, Mutahar, Aceagon, Lucy Hirigana, Kyle, Tom, Kyle, Toby, Matt, Jacob, ShowWithNoName, QueenCreeps, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Spyro Oshisaure, Hexadorsip, Exschwasion, yYaC, Ridley Scott, Mad Max, Ayayase, King Croccoduck, Quoz, Tyrone, FunkyFeem727, Fear, Shock, Bored, BurningTorrent, Richie "Ball Lover" Marcus, George Miller, Michael Rosen, Brian Rosen, FlourtownBrown, my clones (StoomyMasturd, BeamyCustard, and MemeyStustard), PewDiePie, YuriOfWind, and Chipzel all attended. The reverend pronounced me and Canthia husband and wife, but we're 13 so what the fuck? As we kissed passively for 3.14159265 seconds, Xanthia pulled out her STATTRAK(tm) 420 BLOODSOAKER | HYPER-BEAST (FACTORY NEW) and says:
"Any of you fucking pricks move, I will execute every motherfucking last one of you!" she said. Then the screen faded into the opening of Pulp Fiction for no good reason.
"Well that was a waste." I say.
Then we all left because the wedding was ruined.
The goddamn gay-ass motherfucking shitty cuck-covered raptor-fucking End.