A\N: Sorry for the sequal bait, but I just had to. Also, I think the last pasta was long enough, so why not end it in one of the stupidest ways possible? So, read this and this first, k den now read this shit.
NIGHT 1 12:00 AM[]
"So what about Raiko? Where the fuck is she?" Xanthia asked as she sat down it one of the chairs.
"Knowing the author, we'll probably find her at some point in some very conveluted and sexual situation." I reponded.
"Could you stop with the fucking self-awareness shit? How are you even self-aware? Sometimes I wonder if you're even fucking sapient." Xanthia said.
"It would be nice if you two morons would stop bickering." We all heard the BanzaiBubby the Monkey say in a voice like BonziBUDDY. We were all shocked when we found out who said it. IT WAS BANZAIBUBBY THE MONKEY!!!!
"Well, hello there!" The purple animatronic Monkey said. "I'm Banzai!" It said. Then it grobed Yandere-Chan and dragged her off as it said "The more we search, browse, and explore, the smarter I'll ge-...".
Rather than do the sane thing and sent Xanthia, the antropromorphised M41A Pulse Rifle that can pull such weaponry out of the thin air with any sort of CS:GO skin variation to go rescue our lovable kawaii murderer, I switch cameras to CAM 65 to see Yandere-Chan tied up and having tea with BanzaiBubby. Suddenly, Xanthia came over with an M41A | Asiimov (Field-Tested) and shoted BanzaiBubby 2 peaces.
The owner then came over in a purple playboy bunny outfit with, you guessed it, photo-realistic cumstains. He screamed so loud as he fired Xanthia, who then went home, she dropped her M41A Pules Rifl on the floor as she dropped in on the floor. He then ran off screen. I checked the other cameras, but he didn't show up on CAM 64 like he should have. Then, I herd something.
It was a faint "Hello!" followed by an ominous "Clear the fluff out from under your bed!".
I flipped the moniter down to see YuriOfWind, Yandere-Chan and Alphatom493 | Promethium45 gone. Boshy was just sitting there and shitting himself. It wasn't until I saw what was right in front of me until I did see what it why Boshy was shitting...
Sitting in the hall...
Staring right at the floor...
Was an animatronic Michael Rosen with a "Top Gun" hat.
I began to shit myself, but that only attracted the Golden Desulie animatronic which was a necophiliac (Desulie fuk u ur a prep111) and thought I was dead. She prepared to wrap me, but before that could happen I called upon Chris Hanson, who pulled out a hyper awesome absurd ubiquidous excessive monochromatic ZX-76 Shotgun | Asiimov and fired 8 shells at 900 rounds per minute with the accuracy of somebunnies killing Golden Desulie in 0.000314159265 femtoseconds and splattering hyper-realistic nanopaste on the fucking everywhere in 3 seconds before pulling out the master sword at slashing the cyber-spine and regaining full HP. He left through my window. Chris Hanson is love, Chris Hanson is life.
I putting on the Hestia mask that i got, but was too late. Slow. Michael Rosen's face jump at me and and before I knew it, Boshy was yelling something. I didn't understand it because it was in russian, and as you know, I'm afraid of russian. So I freaked out and slapped the animatronic Michael Rosen in the face. He then said "Oh no! The moment I dread when he goes from shitting his fucking britches, to fucking kenshiro!". I then turned into Kenshiro and hit him with so many punches that all the vicks vapor rub came out and he was just mangle on the floor but with less sexy as Harrybo's Grandad. Since the Michael Rosen animatronic was unused, nobody cared. Then, there was a sound of Mutahar laughing hyprt-relelistically from BOB.exe and I knew that it was 6 AM. So we all left. I took a couple seconds and hung an Negev | Terrain (Factory-New) on the wall before we locked up and teleported home. As we road the SOIboat back to the HQ, I got a wierd feeling. It wasn't so much of a pain but, a weird feeling. I dissmissed it as some random feeling as we got of the SOIboat and went into YuriOfWind's house.
Boshy said something in russian as I tried to murder him as I thought the devil, Kent Hovind, was attempting to speak through Boshy, and also because I'm afraid of russian. I impaled him with a harp before Xanthia slapped me and called me a faggot. Since she was just jelious of my devotion to Carl Sagan, I called to him. Sagan sent 999 super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow waifus from the sky and they all had a large gangbang with eachother. Everyone got lost in the mess of waifus and I spent the next 3 hours in solitude before I used Deus Ex Machina-no-jutsu and summoned an unmarked yellow apatche helicopter to rescue everyone. They gave us onions. YuriOfWind's house was destoryed(LOL GEDDIT?) in the process and I gave him some weed to calm his mammary glands. We all went to our houses execpt YuriOfWind who I had a sleepover with.
NIGHT 2 12:00 AM[]
"So, let's just hope things go better this time and I don't have to stop you from murdering an innocent person for speaking russian." Xanthias said to me as we all sat there in the office. There was a new phone but it never rang. There was also a new looking fan that would talk and call me 'Fam' and try to get me to stop cussing when I called the animatronics Fuckiologically Derranged Raptor-Dickers.
It was about 12:30 AM when the alert ambience sounded. I flashy my fleshlight and there was an animatronic fox down the hall. I walked up to it and when I Judo kicked it it grabbed me by the lag and started dragging me down the wall. Xanthia pulled out a M41A | Lince (Minimal Wear) and fired 900 RPM with the accuracy of a Storm Trooper. Alphatom493 | Promethium45 threw serrated icositragons at Foxy but he missed too. YandereSim's current build didn't allow for throwing anything, so Yander-Chan did jack shit. YuriOfWind opened his mouth and shot a stream of hyper-realistic blood at 314,159,265 PSI, but Foxy Fangirls just held up riot shields made of Carbonated Tungsten which blocked the blood. The Fox dragged me to "Foxy Fanturd Cove" and I had to endure the worst pornography ever. I would tell you about it in agonizing detail but it triggers me too much. I was also fart-raped there. I was released from Foxy Fanfuck Cove after 30.14159265 minutes. I was crying in the fetal position until Xanthia found me 1.4 seconds later.
"Are you okay?" She sead sexily before hitting me with the buttstock of her M41A | Frost (Factory-New) and dragging me back to teh awfist. It was 3.14159265 seconds later when suddenly the faceless animatronic T-1000 was standing down the hall. Xanthia pulled up an M41A | Redline (Battle-Scarred) but I pushed it down. It then opened a time portal and 6,660 shitty FNAF OCs came through the portal and they were dragging Mad Max behind them.
Suddenly, a Coyote tried to pick a fight with YuriOfWind. The Coyote animatronic tried to attack him with a bite, but YuriOfWind countered with a throw. YuriOfWind then threw a super hyper ultra mega spooky punch, vaporize the Coyote instantly and sending it flying back, freeing Mad Max, who pulled out Glock-18 | Candied Apple (Field-Tested) and fired 666,420 rounds per minute in a hexagonal pattern reking 13 shitty FNAF OCs per half plahnk time. I opened up the Holy Textbook and read the following:
And within thy time that thee doth misues Olde English, and when thee spy thy Onii-Chan within the binds of the undesireable creations, thy Onii-Chan shalt be the chosen one, the one who shalt lead thee from 'murica to the path of true Sugoi. Thine Onii-Chan will be the protagonist of the best movie ever fucking made and shalt wreck 13 undesirable creation for every half inkling.
I threw my arms around the hyper-sugoi australian ex-policeman seductively and said:
"OMG MAXY UR DA CHOZIN 111!" I said really sexily.
"Okay, so where the fuck am I, what is going on, and what the fuck is this bloke saying?" Mad Max asked in his sugoi australian voice.
"Language fam!" The fan said.
"Honestly, I don't know, and I'm his waifu for fucks sake. When it comes to Song, don't question shit. He's too retarded, but our survival basically depends on him since his retardation is useful." Xanthia told Max.
"Language fam!" The fan said.
"So who are you, and what the fuck is going on?" Mad Max asked all sugoi.
"Language fam." The fan said.
Alphatom493 | Promethium45 hands Max a AWP | Dragon Lore (Factory-New) and we all watched in amazement as Max noscoped the fan a total of 5.62951413 times in a matter of 3 seconds.
"Stop cheating Alphatom493 | Promethium45! Anyway, what are we going to do with all these spare parts?" Boshy said.
"I know just the thing!" Max says before taking a bunch of parts and walking to the parking lot. We put on the parts that were left and start dancing around like idiots, all except Alphatom493 | Promethium45 and Xanthia, who look at us with disgust.
"Why am I even your friend at this point?" Alphatom493 | Promethium45 asked.
"I think the only reason I love you is because you used a Deus Ex Machina to involve us in a relationship despite our characters being completely incompatible, and have really absolutely no chemistry." Xanthia said tome.
"Xaaanthiaaaaa, you should know that you're contradicting yourself!" I said with sexness as Xanthia began to blush.
Then, Max walked in wearing a security guard suit and looking extra kawaii.
"OMG MAX UR MA BAE!!!" I said loudly.
"So, are you a new employee?" Xanthia asked.
"You told me not to question anything, but I really have to ask who's more mad. Me, or these fumbling wankers." Max said with sugoi and sexy in his australian voice.
"Language fam!" The fan said.
"Eh, at some point you get half-used to it." Xanthia said.
"So who are you blokes and spastic fucks?" Max asked.
"Language fam!" The fan said.
"Well, I'm Xanthia, that's Yandere-Chan, there's Song, That's YuriOfWind, and Boshy, and that's Alphatom493." Xanthia said with introducing.
"Any particular reason why there's a gun hanging on the wall?" Max asked in sugoi.
"Song just hung it there for presumably no reason. He said it was symbolic of 'the magesty' of this fanfi--story was. -cough cough-" Xanthia said.
Sudddenly, an animatronic Vinnce12 came running down the hall. He looked me in the eyes with his photo-realistic eyes and said "Ever hear of Chekov's gun, dumbass?" Before screaming "FREEDOM" in my face (LOL GEDDIT?). He was about to bite me but Max swung a V8 engine at his head and blew him up.
Then, the owner came rappeling into the window wearing a purple MCR hoodie with photo-realistic 3rd street saints marks on it.
"OI! THET ANIMATRONIC WAS USED IN TEH BOOLSHIT STORY TOYME PLACE! OILL HAVE TEW DOCK YER PAY FOR THAT! CEPT FER YEW MAX BECAUSE OIYM QWOIT THE MAD MAX FAN MESELF!" He said before teleporting back home.
"Language fam!" The fan said.
"Wait, there's a bullshit storytime place here? Why don't I have a job here?" YuriOfWind asked.
"Andrew, this isn't the time for thinking of life choices. Then again, we all could die horribly if we don't-" I was saying before the remains of the animatronic Michael Rosen abducted me. Xanthia pulled out a hyper realistic M41A | Flash Fryer (Battle-Scarred) and fired 99-rounds in 4 round bursts at 900 rmp but missed while Michael Rosen dragged me off to the childeren's storytime place. He shoved me into a Wacky Warehouse mascot costume and read hyper-sexual childeren's stories to me. It was 3.1416881358821 seconds later when Xanthia came in. She was dressed lik Ellen Ripley and had strapped a flamethrower to her M41A | Terrain (Field-Tested) and burned the animatornic Michael Rosen. She burned the costume around me, and the fire dyed my hair black. We ran out dramatically as the childeren's storytime place exploded.
When we got back, it was 6:00 AM. The merry fuckups and Mad Max had just finished shooing away the animatronic Minceraft ai_conthiracy.bsp characters. We got outside, only to see that Mad Max had build an Interceptor | Silver (Factory-New) from the robot parts, which pissed off the fans even more. It even had both fuel tanks like from Road Warrior. We got in the car and he dropped me and YuriOfWind off at my house. We then made a Bullshit Creepypasta Storytime together, and live happily ever until the next chapter.
the <EOF>
NIGHT 3 12:00 AM[]
On the way over, me and Xanthia got in an arguement over if Snoop Dogg or George Miller were the better waifus. It was a really hard descition that only ended when Max ran me over with his sugoi Interceptor | Silver (Factory-New). The question went unanswered when we sat down and I saw an animatronic Chester The Cheetah on CAM 52 (LOL GEDDIT?). He was kinda smexy, but then, Mutahar broke into the room and stole his cheetos. Chester came to life a pulled out a sharpened cheeto to do battle with Mutahar, but Mutahar when super saiyen and pulled out a his waifu, Akiko Swaggy Usama Bin Laden. Chester swung his cheeto at Mutahar, but Muta use Usama Bin Laden to block it. He hit Chester in the stomache, balls, and face with one felled round-house kick, but Chester pulled out a blak gun.
Suddenly, Xanthia yelled something. It was in russian so it was extra spooky. I pulled down the moniter and there, sitting in the office, staring right at Boshy, was an animatronic Fritz. It was about to lunge at Boshy, but the real Fritz charged in, slamming into robo-Fritz at over 9 yoctillion meters per second, and pecked the eyes out of what remained.
"OMG FRITZITY U WINT FASTR DEN DA SPID OF LIT111" I yelled.
"Brwaaa! Do I give a shit about physics at this point? Goddammit Song! Why did you write an animatronic version of me?!" Fritzity asked with sugoi as he pecked my eyes oiuot.
"Should we help him?" Max asked Xanthia.
"Nah, happens all the time. Kid's got eyes that regrow in less then 3.14159265 femtoseconds." Xanthia explained.
Sudrently, an horrible man with blue eyes and blonde hair came flying in on an MCR broom. IT WUZ EVIL TOECUTTEXXX!!! and he was 900k textures on 80k poly. Mad Max used the remains of Robo-Fritz to build a Melbourne motorcycle and ran over EVIL TOECUTTEXXX while EVIL TOECUTTEXXX tried to run away holding EVIL TOECUTTEXXX JR> and put 2 stuntman in the hospital in the process. George Miller then turned EVIL TOECUTTEXXX into EVIL IMMOTEN JOXXX.
Fritz then flew away and was never seen again. He came back after 6.78 seconds. He have me a message from my long dead lost brother's cousin's uncle's nephew's 7th cousin 45 removed's son, Miyon Sarnat. It sed dis:
"r u sexi nuff 4 dis cuz north korea gut hitted bi nukks from murika nd ur kuntry sux." it said.
I wrote a note back saying "ur mum succs(lol geddit cuz shi died wit succinylcholine lol)" and sent it via fax, which ment I was now sitting in the employee lounge, Fritz on my shoulder and Mad Max, my Onii-chan, sitting there with me. It was halfway through the fax that I heard something.
Dar kansinister moosik wuz playing.
Suddenly, a animatronic Headset Honcho appeared and looked lik a sugoi Konata. He was abbout to attack Max, and I fired a crossbow at Honcho but it missed and he was about to hit Max with a zBrush dick. Max stopped it with his hand and noscoped Headset with an FAMAS | Pulse (Minimal-Wear) which was given to him by Santa during the SUPER SATANGON ANIMU wars when Max was first captured by the shitty FNAF OCs. Suddenly, a naked Tequila appeared and walked up.
"I need your clothes, you boots, your M41A pulse rifle, and a nif 2 slit mah rists 666." She said to me.
"OMG TEKILA BUT R GUT A CHESTBURTSAR111" I said. Then, I saw she had black hair with red streaks. She had so much eyelinder that I was going down her face and made cool tears down her feces. She had gone through horrible problems, and she was now, you guessed it, Gottik. I took Max's Glock-18 | Candied Apple (Field-Tested) and fired 314,159,265,666 rpm with the accuracy of Arnold Schwarzinigger (lol geddit?) in Da Rang Twizzle. Blasting a hole in her chest, killing the chestburster that was put in her that Rookie and Katya didn't get rid of because Karl Bishop Weyland was preventing it in the end of AVP 2010 (lol spoilers) and splattering 4,112,167,600.13552362789476811095000023000000050000001 liters of hyper-realistic blood on the door, on the floor, and on the animatronic hybrid-dinosaur from Jurrasic World which yelled at us with a red and black hyper-realistic pixilated voice.
Luckily there was a cyan and white hyper-realistic bugatti veyron sculpture that was also a functioning car. There was a huge dramatic chase that lasted for 3.141592666 seconds and ended when a goffik Furiosa kicked me and Max out of the bugatti then flipped it over onto the dinosaur causing and explosion that killed it like the ending of Mad Max: Fury Road where one of the warboys starts driving the war rig and flips it over, destroying what was left of Immoten Joe's gang. As me and Max looked up, we saw a familliar face. Dressed in Indigo, tall and creepy...
...it was a animatronic Mad Max
"Oh fuck no! Not the second banana!" Mad Max said. There was a faint echoing of the fan saying "Language fam".
Suddenly, I saw Fritz on his shoulder.
"OMG FRITZITY U TRADER111" i yielded in horror.
"Brwaaa! With how fucking retarded you were Song, didn't you really see this coming?" Fritz said.
"But that's not all..." a voice spoke. Suddenly, an animatronic Mattiesensei666 came out from behind Nicholas Cage. It was all making sense now. The messages scrawled on the walls. "Oh what a day, what a lovely day." and "That's my car!". ANIMATRONIC MAD MAX. He was always the second banana, the character that was just shoehorned in for the purpose of poorly made satire. Before I could go in on more extensive internal monologue, I suffered from Massive Mind Loss. I roundhouse kicked the animatronic Mattiesensei666 in the hand, the soul, and the foot with one kick. He overloaded and exploded. Mad Max then attacked his animatronic counterpart with his sexy, it was hyper-effective. Animutornic Mad Max was annihalated. We made our way back to the office. Everyone was missing. I checked the cameras, Mutahar and Chester The Cheetah were still fighting on CAM 52. I switched to CAM 98 and everyone was tied up and having tea, except for Alphatom493 | Promethium45 who was teaching Xena the Xenomorph how to be good at Open Hexagon.
"OMG ONII-CHAN WE NED 2 SAV DEM111" I said as I grabbed Max's hand and flew downt he hallways at the speed of light. After a very long, excessive, ubiquitous, and photo-realistic matrix style fight scene, we saved everyone from the animatronics. Then it turned 6:00 AM the next femtosecond and we all went home. Mad Max looked at the Negev | Terrain (Factory-New) on the wall before we all piled into the Interceptor | Silver (Factory-New) and went home.
That night, I had a weird dream. I was sitting in dankness, then I looked around. I was wearing an animatronic Xenomorph mask, then it hit me...
I became you, THEN YOU BECAME XENA AND WROTE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I looked around more and saw that Axel and BanzaiBubby were staring at me with terrifying, demonic, flaming, bleeding, pretentious, red, reddish blue, black, super, spooky, ubiquitous, awesome, smexy, sexy, monochromatic, heterochromia, rainbow, hyper-photo-realistic eyes that were leaking blood, semen, and mucus while pulsating red, white, and green while purple prose shot forth from their mouths.
Then I looked infront of me, there, Golden Desulie stooded. She only standed when she thought that she had a new corpse to finger, which perplexed me. I wondered what this mean, so I looked for clues on the official Freedy Fuzbare's Pizza Palace wiki, but found nothing on the Golden Desulie animatronic. One guy posted a thread, but it was deleted by a used named [FaZe]xXx_G01D3N_D35U113_xXx, with the deletion reason being "Stop". I thought it was a glitch and refreshed the page a fuckton.
"Will I be able to see this shit?" I said. Suddenly, a text box appered on screen.
"You can't...Also, shut up you dick." It said in red and black hyper-realistic text. I thought it was a glitch and triggered a singularity since I was using a quantum computer and went to sleep.
NIGHT 4 11:00 PM[]
"UM, 'ELLO GOVN'A? 'ELLO-'ELLO GOVN'A, OI M8S, I'M SURE YER OLL AWARE THET DEW TEW RENOVAYSHUNS, FREEDY FUZBARE'S PIZZA PLACE WIL REQUIRE YEW BLOKES TEW CLOCK EN OVERTOYME." The owner of the place said in a hyper-realistic pixilated voice before hanging up.
"Get down! Get up again! C'mon C'mon MOVE! Get down! Get up again! Working you in overti-" I was singing before Xanthia slapped me in the face.
"Your singing is off-key, you have no idea how to sing, and you're going to get us copywrited if some fuckwit decides to druge up this shit and attempt to read it on YouTube so all the sadists can watch their suffering as they attempt to comprehend this absolute atrocity you've created.
"k m9" I responded. Then I woke up.
"Whyibethe?" I asked.
"The owner of the pizzeria we've been working at for no good reason needs us to clock in a couple more hours of overtime." Xanthia said, putting on her smexy blu denum jackson.
"OMG I KAN TEL DA FYUCHUR111" I said loudly.
"Well, actually-" Max was saying before Xanthia cut him off.
"Don't ruin his delusion." Xanthia said.
"I'm writing your dialogue you know." I said with smexy.
"Yeah, but we're apparently a couple despite the fact that we have no chemistry and I basically hate you." Xanthia said.
"Point taken." I said, vomiting a torrent of rainbows and sparkles, just like my dad when he masturbated himself to death after I became a Jeff The Killer ripoff.
NIGHT 4 12:00 AM[]
It was sunday and all the animatronics except for Xena and maybe Michael Rosen were true christinas, so they did nothing. The entire time we just sat there and swapped tenses. Nothing interesting happened other then the hyper-realistic blood and the beast version of Xena making my feet sore and hurt to this day.
I looked over my shoulder and notice that Alphatom493 | Promethium45 and Boshy were fighting over recording software while Xanthia looked at the cameras and Yandere-Chan dissapeared as YuriOfWind and Mad Max TOOOK OOUT CIGARETES AND STATED 2 smoke pot.
"Xanthia, where did Yandere-Chan go?" I asked.
"She literally just went to the employee lounge 30 seconds ago you fuckwit." Xanthia said.
"o" I said then, moments later, I was in the employee lounge. Luckily, I was standing on the ground. Yandere-Chan was mopping up hyper-realistic blood and her guard suit had photo-realistic red paint all over her suit. I knew it was red paint because she told me it was. It still looked like blood, but it wasn't. I knew because she told me it wasn't. We just stared at eachotha for about 3.14159252 seconds until a beast version of Xena walked in. It was then I noticed a dead childeren were dying on the ground. Then, I became beast version of Xena, and you became me, and I became dying childeren and died. I thought it was a glitch and turned on the cheat for perminant sexiness.
I used my sexy touch on Beast Xena and she died, splatooning hyper-realistic acid blood everywhere in ubiquitous amounts. The acid blood ended up splattering into a perfect pentagram with red crosses and pictures of Gerard Way styled like an anime. Then, the perfect pentagram with red crosses and pictures of Gerard Way styled like an anime started to glow and float and spin. It then became a ball of light, it turned into......................
.....................ENOBY NUT MARY SU OK!!!!111 I was amazed because this Ebory was animu styled. She was 3goffik5me though. She was wearing a blak leather lace corset with red pentagrams and MCR lyrics, blak high-heel combat boots, ultraviolet fishnets with black and red hyper-realistic nail polish, She also had black lipstick and a thong that said "FUK OF PREPS111" and MCR lyrics on the butt. Xena then leaned in like Foxy from FNAF 1 and then, XENA'S NONEXISTANT EYES GREW INTO WHITE CIRCLES LIKE IN ANIMU WHEN THERE'S A SUPRISED ATMOSPHERE OR A BAKA~!!!! Xena was overtaken by lust when she saw Enoby Dark'ness Shitty Fuckface, and decided to rub her girl thingy against Ibony's and do you-know-what with Egogy. Xena then came in and put Enopby on her back.
"OMG WAT R U DONG FUKKER" She asked.
"Command Error In Phonyme." Xena reponded as she removed Inoby's leather thong that had MCR lyrics on the butt. They then did you-know-what. Me and Yandere-Chan averted our eyes. Suddenly, Xanthia came in, and when she saw the prose filled, tomentuous, ubiquitous, excessive, depraves, and dejectable display she was instantly horrified and pulled out an M41A | Blue Force (Well-Worn) from nowhere and fired 900 RPM with an effective range of 2,100 meters, killing ENOBY and Xena in 3.14159265 sex(LOLGEDDIT?)sexagintoseconds. Then she was grabbed by EVIL XENAXXXX who took her inside a game of AVP 2010. I followed and found EVIL XENAXXX crawling into a giant anus in the middle of the Jungle mp map.
I then confessed to being a Xenomorph kin, snapped my fingers, and turned into a spitter Xenomorph. I could now quickscope people with acid. This was so awesome I almost jizzed in my pants before not because all Xenos are female u perrrrv. I wasted no time, I entered the butt and shamelessly ripped off MakutaXadiret727 in the process. After traveling down the longest and most ubiquitous colon ever, I came(LOL GEDDIT?) to a large hive in the middle. Xanthia was set up at a guillotine. I snapped my fingars and turned into a super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow Xenomorph queen, as EVIL XENAXXX was a Xenomorph queen. We did battle for 3.14159265 hours until EVIL XENAXXX ripped my feet off, and to this day my feet hurt and are sore. She then ripped my arm off before headbiting me (AN: ewww nut in dat wae perrrrv) and ripping my Face\Off.
"Fuck this!" I said as I called upon the Honey Badger Brigade, who pulled out super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow Shrek Cannons and fired 31,415,926,665 rounds per minute with the accuracy of the Conrad Fergusson, AKA that guy with the big-ass forehead. This instantly vaporized EVIL XENAXXX in -3.996 seconds and killed her to death. Carl Sagan then used a magical Deus Ex Machina to bring me back to life. I freed Xanthia and we and the Honey Badger Brigade sexily escape the huge and ubiquitous colon as a nuclear explosion happened and that song from The Final Hexagon in Super Hexagon played as all other sounds stopped and everything was in slow motion for the 3.14159265 minutes it took us to escape. We all managed to escape the game, phew, what a relife.
When I came back to the office, Boshy and Alphatom493 | Promethium45 were slapping eachother as Mad Max was having a rap-battle with Snoop Dogg. Then, some guy named Chekov took the Negev | Terrain (Factory-New) off the wall and shot 1,000 RPM with shitty accuracy but he had aimbot and every shot went in my head. I thought it was a glitch and looked at CAM 52.
Mutahar threw an Akiko Swaggy Usama Bin Laden at Chester Cheetah, Chester dodged, Chester threw some throwing cheetos at Mutahar, but they just bounced off of Mutahar's rock hard body. Mutahar flashed his abs, as his sexy made Chester's head xplod. Then, Chesterix came out of the dead Chester The Cheetah. Mutahar then kicked Chesterix in the balls and Chesterix died. Mutahar then looked at the screen and gave me a look that was so sexy I jizzed all over the moniter. Then it was 6:00 AM and we all went home.
I had a really fucked up dream that night, and that's REALLY with a capital Epsilon. I was an animatornic nHexCaseAccAlt4(), and I was being installed in the Hexagonal chambers, right around a giant Open Hexagon animutronic next to a cardboard standout of Vittorio Romeo kissing Terry Cavanagh. Then, the animatronic Snoop Dogg came and floated in front of my face. I tried to look away buy he'd just block my vision. Then everything went blakk. Then there was a message scrawled into the black and was hyper-realistic...
"IT'S NOT ME..."
What could it mean? Well keep reading if you're stupid enough to wonder.
NIGHT 5 12:00 AM[]
When we got into the office, I immediately took Yandere-Chan, Alphatom493 | Promethium45, and Mad Max to ge and accompany me on my endeavor to the hexagonal place and left the story with Xanthia for safekeeping and also I basically ran out of ideas.
XNATIAZ POV LEL
So after Song and his idiot friends and Mel Gibson left for the hexagonal place (and trusted this story with me), I decided to basiclly take it over right now, and began to document what was happening but for some reason felt compelled to swap tenses as I browsed the cameras. I switched over to the 52nd camera and saw that Mutahar was hanging out there, eating a bag of cheetos in the fetal position. I was about to check it out, when all of a sudden, the moniter was forced down. My body froze as I looked infront of me, as there, staring me down, was the animatronic Xenomorph. It looked to be a Praetorian. Obviously, I put on the mask that I had. Boshy and YuriOfWind did the same, but then, the Michael Rosen and nAccBlossom() animatronics came into the room.
"Well, I guess this is it..." YuriOfWind said as he shivered.
"replace with russian text" Boshy said, probably triggering Song's scream that echoed throughout the building.
"I think I have this." I said before doing the obvious thing and somehow pulled out an M41A Pulse Rifle from nowhere. I noticed the rainbow pattern on the usually green painted areas of the rifle's receiver and buttstock.
I motioned the rifle in an intimidating fasion, trying to prompt the animatronics to move away. I fired a quick four round burst, attempting to get them to move away. Next thing I know, Xena was leaping at me, so I opened fire. When Xena became a wrecked mess of electionics on the floor, the other animatronics left the room. Then, I heard Song scream, louder then before. I knew that he only screamed that loud when there was something that scared him more then russian text, but the most scary thing to him WAS russian text.
"I think we can go without the protagonist..." I said.
"That's cold, you're supposed to be his waifu-desu." YuriOfWind said.
I heard Song scream louder.
"Yeah, but he just shoehorned our relationship in. It's basically loveless, considering I'm really just contemplating leaving him to die." I said.
"But if Song is kill, then Mad Max is too. We can't have that happen now can we?" YuriOfWind said.
I then heard Song yell again as I remembered all my favorite moments from all four Mad Max movies.
Then, Song was cut off half-scream.
"Fine, I guess we'll save him." I said.
YuriOfWind then turned into Kamen Rider as I strapped a flamethrower to a different M41A, which had been custom painted with the image of a psychodelic monster on the receiver and buttstock with the normally grey areas colored a dark blue.
When I arrived, I ended up being met with Song stuffed into a skeletal pumpkin as Vittorio Romeo and Terry Cavanagh shook hands. Max was now tied to a cross and seminal fluid dripped from his hair. Yandere-Chan was kneeling on the ground, similarly to how she does when you're expelled in YandereSim, and Alphatom493 | Promethium45 was playing Open Hexagon and dodging the occasional swipes the animatronic walls, triangles, and hexagons took at him.
I fired at the right angle hexagon, and after destroying it, Vittorio Romeo turned to face me. He sent the nAccBlossom and nHexCaseAccAlt4() to attack me. I just put a couple bursts into them and reloaded my firearm. Vittorio Romeo himself came running at me, but when I fired two 4-round bursts, he simply shrugged off the damage and kicked the rifle out of my hands. Then he kicked the journal out of my hand. Then Snoop Dogg appeared.
SNOOPZ POV LAWL
So dat shiznit done be landed all up in mah thugged-out lil' fuckin' graspers n' shit as I saw da biatch wit da drills havin' a perved-out shootout wit da pimp of da Open Hexazizzle shit, y'all KNOW dat shit muthafucka.
Now they muthafuckin' asses be throwin' some funky-ass busta punches befo' dat dunkadelic hoe finally put her fist all up in da thug's soul, knockin' his ass out n' shit. I ain't talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.
I be thankin', yo asses probably be askin' what tha fuck mah-ass be bustin' up in dis hood, biatch? Well I be bout ta rap to yo' asses 'bout dat shiznit, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Yo-ass see, Song be mah playa' n' shit eva' since his ass defended my funky-ass shrine n' shiznit. So when his muthafuckin' ass be all up in a skeletal pimpkin' n' shit, my-ass KNOW dat shit ain't nuthin' but freaky, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.
So afta ridin' solo down tha hood, I came to tha cold-ass lil' ghetto of "Freedizzle Fuzbrizzle's Pizizzle Ghetto n' Shit". So afta' swappin' that tense shit I jumped the fuck up inta' the cold-ass lil' air n'd smoked up a funky-ass smoke cloud. All them bad muthafucka's done choked on dat shit, n' I aint' talkin' 'bout no Jack Daniels either.
So when they asses be all up in chiz-okin, I be struttin' tha fuck up to the hood of they car. Mah-ass took out some funky-ass StatTrak(tm) Tec-Nizzle | Neurizzal (Freshly Smoked-Up) n' I be bustin' caps up in they asses, y'all KNOW dat shit muthafucka. Them muthafucka's be fallin' tha fuck to tha floo' n' shit. I balla'd dat shit up when tha beast version of they muthafuckin' robizzles be runnin' all up ta my ass, but y'all knew dat shit, muthafucka.
I blazed dat OG Kush n' be poppin' 9,810 caps per all dem minutes, as them muthafuckin' asses be droppin' tha fuck to tha floo', my ass done bigged-up a cold-ass irrationizzle lil' thought , "There ain't no stoppin', cause I still be poppin'!". Afta them asses took some thugged-out dirtnaps, I freed Song and all his freakadelic lil' playas n' hoes n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass.
I passed them asses some fuckin' real OG kush n' gave this fuckin' busta-ass rap back tha fuck to tha pimpin' smoker of dis shiznit. Y'all KNOW dat shit muthafucka, this type-a shiznit happens all the time.
SONGZ POV LoL
So Snoop Dogg, after being super sexy and reking all the beast versions of the Freedy Fuzbare's Pizza Castle's mascots using super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow horny-ass dope-ass wack-ass OG StatTrak(tm) Tec-Nizzle | Neurizzle (Freshly Smoked-Up), Snoop Dogg left through the front door and drove off in a Bugatti Veryron. Snoop Dogg is love, Snoop Dogg is life. Then, a clone of Xanthia came walking in. One of the Xanthias then pulled off her mask, and the scariest part of this was that SHE WAS YOU!!!! AND YOU BECAME PAINFULL RIPOFF OF UPOTTE AND PARTICIPATED IN THIS!!!!!!!
I then killed you, splattering hyper-realistic seminal blood on everywhere. Xanthia then came up and slapped me, we all realised it was 6:00, and Snoop Dogg drove us all home.
I then had a thugged-out trip where Snoop Dogg and I participated in all sorts of psychadelic CS:GO styled counter-terrorist operations. We were both part of an IDF unit deployed in Japan and had matching M4A1-S | Hyper-Beast (Factory-New) and defused every bomb the Dinosaur Squad planted in 3.14159265 secons.
NIGHT 6 12:00 AM[]
YuriOfWind got sick and he was home as we all drived the Interceptor | Silver (Factory-New) to Freedy Fuzbare's Pizza Place. We arrived moments later and went to do stuff.
So, after 3.9617 seconds, Xanthia knocked me out with the buttstock of her M41A | Chatterbox (Well-Worn) and dragged me to the behind the building. When I woke up I was at the behind of the building and Xanthia was standing here all sugoi and hyper-realistic.
"Sometimes, I really wonder what I'm doing. Especially since this plot is one of the worst ones ever." She said while blushing.
"What are you talking about?" I asked sexily.
"I should be asking that question." She said trumelephantly.
Then she rammed my cherry pie into her macbook and hyper-realistic combat android blood was everywhere.
"Wow, that was really hot." I said indigoly.
"Just don't tell anyone~" Xanthia said hyper-realistically.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS?!" IT WAS AN ANIMAMA TRONIC HATSUNE MIKU WHICH WAS LESS SEXY THEN THE REAL MIKU!!!!!!!!1111111!11!one!11!1!!eleven1110010one-thousand101110!!11!1!
Xanthia was going to pull up her M41A | Safari (Battle-Scarred) but the animutranic Miku screamed and spooked us so bad that we were paralysis and less sexy as Melanie and Dave Ross combined. Miku's scream didn't sound like it'd belong in a 255-bit story such as Xanthia.lua Book Three - 6 Crazy Nights At Freedy's That's Really Just Basically Filler. It sounded photo-realistic and a little semen coloured.
When we woke up we were above a portal to hell. All the animatronics, BanzaiBubby, Freedy, Foxy, Xena, JC, Xadiret727, Golden Desulie, Mangled Rosen, Robo-Fritz, and the animatronic Snoop Dogg were all about to lower me and Xanthia into hell.
"I think I just realised the extent of my hate towords you. If only YuriOfWind hadn't been at that fucking Cafe, I wouldn't be about to be lowered into a dimension of eternal terror." Xanthia said.
Surrently, a miracle. Mad Max, Yandere-Chan, Alphatom493 | Promethium45, Snoop Dogg, Michael Rosen, Lord Humathgous, and Mutahar came in to the rescue. Max blasted Foxy to pieces by summoning 91,236,164,616,346 double barrel sawed-off shotguns and firing them all at once. Yandere-Chan disemboweled JC The Hyena. Alphatom493 | Promethium45 threw hexagonal walls at Freedy, smashing him to pieces. Mutahar went super saiyen and hit Golden Desulie 10^3 quadrillion+3 times in half a planhk time, shredding her to pieces. Lord Humathgous summoned an undead leigon of intergers and exponents who trampled both Robo-Fritz and Mangled Rosen. Michael Rosen then finished off Mangled Rosen by shouting "NOOOO BREATHING!", which caused Mangled Rosen to stop breathing and die. Snoop Dogg walked up to the hoods of all the animatronics cars took out two Glock-Eight-Tizzle | Fade (Freshly-Smoked-Up) with drum mags and fired 2,132,968,416,812,622,390,562,161,234,165,772,489,929,123,589,123,590,909,619,106 RPM with the accuracy of Snoop Dogg and finished them all off. He then freed me and Xanthia.
Suddenly, all the animatronics came back to life via Deus Ex Machina, and all formed a giant Kent Hovind robot who beat the shit out of everyone except for Snoop Dogg. Then, the roof ripped off as the light of billions and billions of stars shone into the room. I felt a warmth moving towords me.
It was Carl Sagan.
I was so happy.
Carl Sagan then descended from Atheist Heaven and pullet out an Scar-20 | Hyper-Beast (Factory-New) and combined his sexiness with Snoop Dogg and they both fire 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 rounds per minute with the accuracy of Ridley Scott Cawthon, and all the ballets were made of carbonated tungsten and neodymium, which vaporized Mecha Kent Hovind in less then 3.14159265 femetoseconds.
As Carl Sagan and Snoop Dogg ascend back to atheist heaven, they wink at us all, and we all start to ejaculate. I look around, and see all the animatronics, all but leftover metal and fabric. Then, the owner guy comes in.
"OI YEW FOKERS! WHAT DEW YEW FOKING BLOKES OLL FINK YER DOIN? YEW OLL RUINED ME BIDNESS!" he stated yelling meanly. Max stops ejaculating meanly and pegs Owner Guy in the back of the head with a crossbow, while Xanthia shoots Owner Guy so many times with an M41A | Speed Demon (Factory-New) that all the blood squirts out and he's just leftover meat and skin. Then, a bunch of scavenger animals come in and start eating Owner Guy's corpse. There was no reason to worry because scavengers only eat dead animals.
Anyways, Mutahar, Max, Lord Humathgous, anc Michael Rosen all teleport to where they need to be. Me, Xanthia, Yandere-Chan, and Alphatom493 | Promethium45 then proceed to loot all the money in the building before the cops arrive.
YuriOfWind continued to be a person who read horrible Creepypasta and explored the beta features of games, occasionally getting weird lumps every time he promised his viewers Gundam videos.
Xanthia became a very successful voice actress and became the voice of a future Sono Hanabira Ni Kuchizuke Wo character. She took minor hits of acid since she still religiously belives that drinking is one of te worst things you can do.
Michael Rosen moved on to become a world-class wrestler, and earning the hyper-realistic blood belt for becoming the first person to beat up the Toppler.
Mattiesensei666 ended up become a physics major and went on all sorts of fucked up and philosophical adventures with King Kroccoduck.
Owner Guy's funeral was prepared in 3.5781 months later. The autopsy later revealed he was poisoned with Succinylcholine.
Mad Max went on to do whatever he did in any future George Miller movies.
Lord Humathgous became Mr.Beaver again and went back to teaching 6th grade math. He still occasionally pals up with his best friend, Harold Penisman, and absconds into the night as Lord Humathgous.
Alphatom493 | Promethium45 proceeded to enter the Open Hexagon world tournament. He beat the Japanese contestents by 999 zeptillion seconds on Massacre at 569% speed.
Snoop Dogg procceeded to continue making amazing songs and even appeared in the next Mad Max movie. He also still holds the world record for "Sexiest Man Alive".
Fritz is still imprisoned in a well-kept birdcage in Song's Cafe.
Chocola and Vanilla later die of pneumonia at ages 62 and 62.14159265 in cat years.
Mutahar is still a really sexy video maker who continued to ignore Song's mad satire skillz.
Song sells the bakery to Facto and becomes a farmer in a village inhabited entirely by the Villagers from AT2's concept art for the Minecraft Mob Talker Mod, where he started another Cafe. Snoop Dogg occasionally sends him Pepsi flavored Weed in the mail.
Anita Sarkeesian and Briana Wu continue to run their rape-alert programs down in the Pagamos.
Jeff The Killer now has nightmares about the phantoms of Chocola and Vanilla. FurBearingBrick constantly tries to calm him down every night Jeff re-enacts FNAF 4.
Tommy Wiseau is crowned the king of XYNMPHAMIA after saving his people from Georgio A Tsukolos's forces of ancient aliens.
Raiko is still playing a game of cards with Ridley Scott, The Puppet, and John Madden in the middle of Limbo, waiting for when the author will remember her.
The end.